She Was Like a Human Trapped Inside of a Dog’s Body

Tuesday November 5th 2013

Tuesday morning. I used to clean 2 houses every Friday. I quit them about 6 months ago. They had both wanted me to come back, but I decided I was done. I had received a text message on Saturday asking if I would come in and do a quick clean/dusting on any day of my choice….I thought – what the heck, I just bought a new tennis racquet, I could put the money towards that and not feel as guilty about buying it. So I decided to do it Tuesday morning after my weightlifting class. It was my day off from running my Mom and the only thing on my schedule was that 8am class and my “long” walk day with the girls. I had just recently done a walking schedule for them for the entire month of November so that I would never over do it with Josie’s arthritis but still got some long walks twice a week, medium walks twice a week and the other days were all short walks just around our land. The schedule was working out really well so far, so I opted for Tuesday to clean the house.

I left the house at about 7:40am – a bit rushed, knowing I would be pushing it to get to the Y by 8. I had my backpack, a bag of plastic bags for recycling, a bag of tennis balls for my sisters dog and my cleaning caddy…….I asked Marsh to open the door for me and close it behind me since my hands were completely full. In the rush of things I didnt do my normal kiss of all the dogs as I left….I usually kissed them all on the head or the nose and told them to be good girls while I was gone….Josie was usually on the couch or the dog bed on the floor, Gully was usually on the loveseat or on the couch with Josie…and Orra, well she was usually trying to sneak out the door with me, so I usually got her standing. But this day, I regretfully just left the house…..

 I did my class, played a half hour of tennis, showered, changed at the Y and then headed over to clean. I got done there at about 12:30 and drove IMMEDIATELY home….I drove my car in the garage and opened the front door to let the girls go out….I hit the little lever on the bottom of the screen door to make it stay open as I had to pee myself. Orra and Gully were standing at the door waiting for me and Josie was just hopping her way over as I came in. I told them to all go potty and petted Josie on the top of her head as I scooted past her to the bathroom. As I sat on the toilet, Orra came in – I can never have any privacy with her around, so I told her to go out and go potty. I finished up in the bathroom, changed into my dog shoes and we were off….

 Now Josie was notorious for doing a “fake out” as she got in the dog mini-van…she would stand by the house as the other two eagerly jumped in and I would have to tell her over and over to “Come on Josie”, finally she would hop over, get to the door and STOP dead in her tracks….She did this nearly every single time we were trying to go somewhere. And every single time I would say…”I hate that when you do that” and then I would give her a little push on her butt and she would usually jump right in. Tuesday, she hopped right to the van and jumped RIGHT IN! I was pretty impressed, and I think I may have even mumbled something under my breath about how easy that was….

 So we headed back into town….as I was driving I noticed that Josie was laying down…..now THIS IS WEIRD! I turned back at her and said “are you tired Josie??” I thought it was a little strange but kept driving. I scolded Orra few times for nearly stepping on her sister but that just went in one ear and out the other. We arrived to pick up Daddy which is about 12 minutes away. He came right out and all the dogs were standing at the cage that separates them from the two front seats. They all greeted him and we were off again….This time we headed about 5 minutes away to Jimmy Johns to grab a sub. I asked Marsh if he wanted to eat in the van or inside and we both agreed to eat inside. We split a half a sub as it was kind of late and we didnt want to spoil our dinner.

While we were eating, I asked the sandwich maker for the “guts” of 3 subs (the bread dough they normally throw away) for the girls as they were waiting in the van. I broke them each into 3 pieces as we gobbled down our food and then we headed back to the van. I gave each one of them a piece at a time…and they all waited so patiently for their turn. After they were done, we drove Marsh back to the shop and were then headed down to go for our “Long – Tuesday” walk. As we were driving Marsh back, Josie laid down AGAIN!! I mentioned something to Marsh and he suggested that maybe her arthritis was bothering her seeing as it was kind of a damp rainy-ish day. I brushed it off to that, left him and we headed to the park. As we got closer, I tried everything to get her up, I said all her favorite words and phrases about the park but she just laid there with Orra making circles around her. I warned Orra a few more times not to step on her.

We arrived at the park, I put the van in park and opened the back door. Josie made a motion like she was about to get up and I told her “No, you just stay here, you are too tired already. We will go for a quick little walk and be right back.” I gave her the coveted rawhide I keep in the van incase I need to keep one of them occupied from some strange reason, I locked the doors and we were off. It was cold and drizzling. I had on my small jacket with no hood, so I went back to the front seat and grabbed a clean dog towel I keep in there for any odd use. I locked the doors again and draped the towel over my head and we started walking. I got to one point under the train trestle and looked at my phone…I had only been gone 7 minutes….I thought I would make the quick loop around by the river yet, and that should make the walk about 20-25 minutes, that way Josie wasnt waiting too long. I had NEVER left her in the van like that while taking the other dogs…EVER!! And not that that is a bad thing, I just had never done it and it felt a little odd.

We did the loop, got back to the van and as I walking up, I hit the clicker to unlock the doors. Now, if any of the dogs were ever waiting for me, that was the sign I was there and they would shoot up like a bullet and look out the window. When I hit the clicker, I didnt see her head….My heart sank and I knew something was wrong…..all the other things, I could explain, but this….was WRONG!!!!

I opened the door and she was laying on her side, in the middle of the van….not panting, but breathing kind of hard….She kind of sat up on her front leg, looked me dead in the eye and looked away….It was a look I will NEVER forget, it was the look that said “I am going to die today”……

I sat down on the edge of the door opening, folded up the towel and laid her head down on it. I stroked her body and told her it was okay…..Orra and Gully were both trying to get in the van but I told them no. I called Marsh immediately and told him he had to come and get them, that they could not ride in the van with her or they would step on her as she was sprawled out in the middle of the floor. I dont think he got it, so I said “I am not kidding, this is serious, you need to come now” I think he could hear the sincerity in my voice and said he would be right there. So I sat, and petted her and comforted her until he arrived. As I was, I noticed the small mole between her eyes was kind of pale…not its normal pink….so I checked her gums….they seemed to be normal, but then again, what is normal??? I found myself confused as to what “her” normal color was.

Marsh came and took Orra and Gully. I told him he could just take them to the shop seeing as he was right in the middle of something and bring them home when it was more convenient for him. I was just going to take her to the vet and have them do some blood work on her.

 He left, I left….I drove about 500 yards and decided to see what she did standing up…and if she could. So I pulled over, crawled in back and had her get up, which she did. Her rear right leg kind of shook which was normal with her arthritis, but then, she stood on the top of her foot….and then flipped it back normal….I think that is called posturing??? she did that a few times and I told her just to lay down. Which she did. I knew she was due for her Adequain injection soon, so my mind told me that yes, I would bring her, they would draw blood and then give her an early dose of her med and she would be fine….but…..the back of my mind was freaking out.

I got her to the vet, drove to the front door and parked. Left the van running and went inside. I got the desk and asked of Dr Madden-Heinzen was working and the girl said “Yes, who do you have and whats the problem”…..my eyes immediately filled with tears, my voice got all squeaky and I said “Its Josie, she cant walk”

She shuffled me into to “BAD ROOM” – the room where people go to say goodbye to their pets, it has a sofa, two comfy chairs and pictures people have sent of all their dead animals…and kleenex everywhere you look. I sat down, grabbed some kleenex and cried….for about 2 minutes, and then I went back to the lobby and said, I need to go out and be with her, I will be outside. Just as I got out, Dr. Madden-Heinzen came to the door, she looked very smart and professional…she had big maroon glasses on along with a very concerned look on her face…..she asked me what happened and I gave her a condensed version our day.

 We opened the door to the van and the tiny little vet jumped right in. As she got in I mentioned the color of her mole, she checked her gums, and pressed on her belly. She said she needed to get her on oxygen immediately. We hoisted Josie up and I put a collar and a leash on her. She got down from the van pretty well, but I wrapped that towel under her tummy to help her walk. We went in the building and they took her immediately to the back – through the lobby….not through a secret door…yes, this is bad.

 I went out, moved my van screaming out the loudest “fuck” I have ever said….I dont swear very often, but this just jumped right from my throat. I composed myself and went inside. They put in me in that dang room again. I sat and looked around. The last time I had been in there was when Josie was recovering from her gastric torsion surgery. I was such an overprotective mother to Josie, I had to be with her all the time, so they set us up in that room. I brought blankets from home and we made a bed on the floor….I played music on my ipod and we spooned…..all day until they let her go home.

But on this day, I sat there alone…waiting…..

Within just a couple minutes, Dr. Madden-Heinzen appeared and sat down on the chair. She looked at me, square in the eye and said “She’s dying”……

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I think I died right there and then. I asked if I could be with her and she said they had her on oxygen and they were starting an IV. She was too weak to even take an xray but she would come back and get me as soon as they had her all settled.

Within a couple minutes they walked me back…and there my she was….laying on a blanket on the floor in the middle of the room with the tech holding an oxygen cone on her snout. She looked at me immediately and I smiled at her and said “Hey Baby Girl!!!!” I knelt by her and told her to fight hard, I told her I loved her a million times…..but she was sooo weak she couldnt even hold up her head! I asked to scoot in behind her up against the counter so I could lay her head on my lap and hold the O2. I mentioned that her stomach seemed a little bit big and the tech thought it was due to her leg being underneath her, so we pulled her leg out, but I told her I thought it still looked a little big.

I just loved on her that entire time I sat there. The doc would come in and would check her eyes, her gums, press her belly and various other things. After about 15 minutes on oxygen they took her in the room next door and took some xrays. The doc came back and said she really couldnt see anything on xrays but began pressing more on her belly. She said she would like to aspirate her stomach and explained that consisted of. They were very conscious of me being right there and explaining each thing they did or were going to do. I was fine with them doing anything at this point…..she stuck the needle in and drew back the plunger…….blood….an entire vial of dark red blood………….

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Author: josiethebluegreatdane

My name is Mia....I am Josie's Momma View all posts by josiethebluegreatdane