Josie The Greatest Dane

January 17th, 2011

Today we celebrate Josie’s 10 month Ampuversary! We are celebrating with lots of peanut butter treats, a piece of cake, hamburgers and never ending confetti, as yet another snowstorm rips through Eastern Wisconsin.

We have seen a couple changes this past month. First of all, we moved, a little over a month ago, during the first BIG snowstorm the lakeshore has had this winter. Snow…that would be the second change. Even though Josie is almost 7 now and has experienced many a winter in her lifetime, this is her first winter as a tripawd, and I must say, she LOVES it, just like she always has….from bending down and taking a refreshing mouthful of the newly fallen powder to romping around with her buddy Miss Gully.

We made the big move from a busy street in a small city to the end of a dead end road near little country town. Our new home is nestled on 5.25 acres with 1300 ft of river frontage…. or “doggy heaven”. Right now the river is frozen which makes for the perfect daily walk. It is a winter wonderland out there with lots to explore and many good smells for inquisitive doggy noses.

Things have been going good for Josie….she seems to be doing great right now. She had a few learning lessons so far this winter, falling on the ice and slipping on the hardwood floors since being a tripawd dawg, but she doesn’t let anything slow her down. It is priceless to see her at the bottom of a hill, looking up at me, her eyes full of doubt, and then watch her conquer that hill and be able to celebrate with her at the top.

I tend to spoil her more often than not. Arriving here at 10 months, I am very aware how fortunate I am to still have her in my life, have the funds to pay for expensive amputation, chemotherapy, bloat surgery and numerous medications. I try to keep things in check, to not sweat the small stuff and really appreciate what we have together. I snuggle with her, kiss her, massage her and tell her how much I love her on a regular basis. I am reminded of this by the recent losses of Mackenzie, Fortis and other tripawds along our journey. Today we will celebrate, we will celebrate the love we share and the life we live….

October 31st, 2010

It is Halloween…one of Josie’s favorite holidays, mainly because our doorbell rings constantly for 2 straight hours. I am sure she is thinking….”Does it get any better than this?” She lays on the rug in front of the door just waiting for the next goblin to appear on the walkway leading to the house. As soon as she sees a little monster she jumps to attention and frightens them with her Great Dane bark! I open the door to the little trick or treaters, allow her to poke her head out and get a whiff of them and introduce her….”This is Josie, The Greatest Dane”….most kids want to pet her and some will notice that “She only has 1 leg!”….I am used to explaining it to kids that she really has 3, but only one in front. Kids just love her gentle nature. They also tend to notice her “bareness” before most adults. It is quite adorable to see them bend down and look under her chest as if she is hiding her leg under an invisible skirt or something.

It has been 7 ½ months now and our life has moved on….we are as normal as we can be….for now. We have all adapted well to Josie’s new way of life, her bounce and her itchy right shoulder blade. She had her left leg and left shoulder blade removed in March and ever since has developed the itchiest right shoulder imaginable! She knows that she can’t scratch it on her own or she will topple over, so, she usually will stand and stare at me until I go to her side and dig in deep with both hands and scratch the muscley shoulder area….simultaneously….my nails touch her skin, her lips quiver and her right rear leg taps uncontrollably…ahhh relief!

Josie is and always has been loved and adored by all who meet her. Now everyone that meets her wants to know her story. Sometimes I feel like a broken record but I am a proud Momma, and I happy that she is here with me, hopping along, either by my side or trailing behind, smelling all the smells life has to offer an awesome, spoiled dog. I tend to worry over her…every sneeze, loose stool, tiniest little gag…..I fear that the cancer has come back….and that it will only be a matter of time. I find myself spooning with her quite often as she sprawls out on the floor to get a good stretch…Yep, there I am, nuzzling in behind her to smell her fur, kiss her soft ear, to take in as much of her into my memory bank so that I can smell her her once she is gone. I try to think of a way that I can bottle her scent…her stinky dog ear smell….I know I am crazy, but I love her. And I cry…I cry because I don’t know what it will be like to not have her in my life….I will feel so empty….

But….for now, she is great! And I mean GREAT!!! She is happy all the time! Her tail is wagging more now than ever before!! She loves to go for long walks and still takes forever to get back to the truck when we are done. It is the Dane in her, she is stubborn as a mule….I have to remind myself to be patient with her, because once she is gone, I will wish I could be waiting on her to jump in the back of that truck.

The snow will be flying soon here in Wisconsin and we love our daily winter walks….I wonder if her front paw will get cold faster now. There have been a few little things I have noticed that have changed since her amputation and this winter will be yet another new experience for us. I don’t want to rush things, but, I can hardly wait! She needs to stay strong so we can enjoy a lot more time together! But, so far, so good…..

Josie loves life, she loves her human sister Brittany, her fur sister Gully and she loves her Momma…to me, that one word describes her best….yes, Josie is…Love….

Chemo….round two.

We drove to Madison on Thursday morning. Just Josie and I. I think she knew where we were going because she wouldn’t allow herself more than a snooze the entire 2 plus hour ride to the hospital. She laid in the back of the Jeep with one eye open almost the entire trip. We arrived right on time and they drew blood and then we had to wait 2 hours for the chemo to arrive at the lab. Josie was happy to leave during that time and we used it wisely to go visit Brittany at work. The inevitable time came to head back to the hospital for her infusion and once again I had to walk her to the back room….she is like a stubborn mule when it comes to leaving me…..but, can you blame her? It seems she is always getting poked with needles or cut open while we are apart…

She slept the entire way home….completely zonked….

Side effects seem to be the same as last time. Loss of appetite being the main thing. She eats just a little….so I try to feed her more often.

Today is Sunday and it is cold and windy here in WI. I took the girls for a nice long 2 hour walk today….Josie style…that means we walk at her pace….slow….and let her smell what ever she wants…..for as long as she wants….well, within reason. She even ventured off the path a few times. We didnt run into but a few dogs today, mostly fishermen out today, the river is high and fast and looks like chocolate milk.

All in all, Josie is doing great! She is alive…and she is happy….and that is all that matters!

Thursday April 8th 2010 Josie got to come home today at noon…she is resting now…actually she is PASSED OUT! She was so happy to see Gully, and that, made my heart smile!

She is on a bland diet, cerenia – to prevent vomiting, deramaxx – for pain control and has 23 staples on her tummy….and…..she is home….at last!!!!!

Once again…thank you to Dr. Angie Madden-Heinzen, Dawn at Port Cities and ALL our friends for thoughts, well wishes, prayers, and oodles of love….We LOVE you ALL!!!!!

Tuesday April 6th 2010 It is 9:15pm and I just arrived home from our local vet. Josie began acting strange at about 5:40 tonight…we did our normal walk in the gully with Gully, my friend Lynn and her  standard poodle named Henry. We were at the park for 2 whole hours. When we were done we went to the shop and the girls both got baths…mainly because of the rain we had today and all the mud they schlepped through. We stopped home quick for 2 dry collars and then we were off to the vet…We had a 3:40pm double appointment. Gully needed suture removal for her recent squirrel chasing escapade and Josie needed a CBC count done and faxed down to Madison for follow up on her recent chemotherapy. Both went well.

We arrived home at 4:15pm to find Marsh in the garage riding the recumbant bike. The girls and I went into the workout room and said hello to him and then went into the house to prepare dinner. Of course the girls ate first. I made their favorite gravy food which they both ate and then they laid down in their respective spots in the living room for a little snooze. I fixed supper for Marsh and I after he got out of the shower and we both ate. Marsh cleaned up the kitchen and I let the girls outside for a drink of water and then they went and laid back down.

From here…I dont know what time it was, or how long after the water drinking episode it was…but soon, very soon after she laid down, Josie came and stood in front of me…I thought it was very odd, Gully was out cold….she was exhausted and full bellied….but Josie, was standing, staring at me….I asked her if she had to go potty but she didn’t move. She had just drank and ate, so I knew it wasnt one of those, and then she put her head down and a stream of saliva fell from her mouth. I immediately thought she was nauseated from the chemo…but that was last week Tuesday…could it take a whole week to effect her?

I opened the door and she hopped out on the deck and heaved but nothing came out….I tried to get her to drink, but she wouldnt…then she walked in a circle like she was going to lay down….in the wet grass!!!!!…..this….made no sense to me. She hates getting wet…why would she lay in the wet grass….I thought for sure she was sick from the chemo and called the vet for more pills. It was exactly 5:45 and they close at 6….I could get there in time and save her a night of nausea…

I explained my fear to the receptionist. She put me on hold to got our records and said she would talk to Dr. Angie Madden-Heinzen about the prescription….within 1 minute Dr. Angie was on the phone and her first question…. “Is her stomach distended?” Baffled…I asked her “Are you thinking bloat?” She said yes, that she was….so I palpated her stomach and said, it is bigger, but she just ate….I looked at her from all different angles and felt one way one second and the other way one second after that….She suggested I get something yummy and see if she will swallow it. If she wouldn’t swallow it, that could mean bloat….I ran to the fridge and got some goodis and put it in front of her. Josie smelled it and then turned her head….Well, that didn’t help.

I asked her if it was okay if I just brought her in… “Better safe than sorry” were my exact words. She said of course….so…we loaded up in the Jeep…and off I sped, to the other side of town….as I drove Josie began to pant. Her tongue started hanging out of her mouth and the color of it confirmed to me Dr. Angie’s suspicions, she was losing color. We arrived and Dr. Angie was waiting for us holding the door to an exam room open for us. She felt her stomach and then took Josie to the back room for Xrays…She was right, it was bloat….

At this point, I have two options….surgery or euthanasia….no question in my mind! Immediate surgery I said. Dr. Angie also offered me another surgery option, The Referral Center in Appleton….45 minutes away….I said no, immediate surgery. I waited in the waiting area while the cleaning lady picked garbage cans up off the floor to sweep underneath them and rinsed the coffee machine…..Marsh came and sat with me. I called Brittany and my Mom. I cried….I worried…. 50/50 chance are the odds Dr. Angie gave Josie….

1 hour later…Dr. Angie came out from behind the counter….still drying her arms….the arms attached to the hands that saved my babies life. These doctors are amazing…I am so blessed to have this knowledgeable woman live in my hometown and know…over the phone the life threatening condition that has just taken over my dog. She diagnosed her twice….One month ago she looked at the lump on her wrist and said.. “I am afraid it is Osteosarcoma”, and she was right….and today….over the phone…. “Is her stomach distended?” Cats have nine lives, my precious Josie has had three so far, thanks to Dr. Angela Madden-Heinzen.

I waited in the lounge about 15 more minutes while they got Josie settled into yet another kennel and then Dr. Angie came out to announce that Josie was “now taking visitors”. She looked amazing…still drugged, but happy to see me. I laid on the floor with her for about an hour, caressing her, kissing her and whispering to her how much I loved her and what a good girl she was….all this while Dr. Angie stepped over us and took vitals.

Josie is not out of the woods yet, tonight is still a big hurdle to get through. Dr. Angie is going to check on her every two hours and report back only if there are problems. Otherwise I look forward to hearing from her at 7am tomorrow with my first visit at 8am. If all goes well, she will be able to come home on Thursday.

Tuesday March 30^th 2010 Today was Josie’s first round of chemo. She did really well! We drove home and she slept the entire way…no big surprise there…I am so not looking forward to her getting sick….I feel so bad having to put her through this.

Wednesday March 31^st 2010 Josie seemed chilled this morning so I covered her with warm blankets out of the dryer (her fav). She slept late this morning and laid outside in the sun for a bit in the afternoon. We took just a short walk with breaks on her mat.

Her appetite isn’t the greatest, but no vomiting or diarrhea so far.

Thursday April 1^st 2010 I can honestly say she seems pretty normal….just missing a leg….when is she going to get sick??? will she get sick???

Friday April 2^nd 2010 We went to the Brewer game tonight. It was the longest I have left her since her surgery. Came home and she was fine! I really worry too much. I think she slept the entire time I was gone.

Today she ate dry food on her own…with no coaxing….huge step…

Saturday April 3^rd 2010 Normal day….walked for about an hour with two short breaks…she didn’t seem to need them, maybe we will nix the mat from now on.

Sunday April 4^th 2010 Took our regular route off leash, but decided not to carry her mat…she got a bit slow at the end of the loop, but she made it! We were down in the park for a total of 1 ½ hours!!!! She got to interact with lots of dogs today and did really, really well!!!!

Can’t say much more than…WOW… she is really amazing!!!!

Friday March 26th 2010 Josie is back to her old self….sleeping late…I cover her with a blanket and she lays there…only difference? She is laying on the floor….something she rarely did before the amputation, now it is almost the norm. She slept almost all night on her amputation side. I can’t help but wonder if it feels good???

I notice when she gets up a bit of swelling along the incision. I put in a call to Dr. Danielson. He is in surgery all day and will call when he gets out.

I actually go to the Y today and attend cycling class…I haven’t been there since Friday March 5^th….it is nice to be back but I decide to make it a short class, quick shower and head home…..it is Josie’s first time home alone without any human supervision. I got home, and she was fine!

My friend CC and I take the girls for another walk down in the gully. The girls have a blast. We do a longer route than yesterday so I bring along her blue mat and we take two breaks so Josie can lay down and catch her breath from all that hopping. CC gives her a new nickname…Kanga. We run into regulars that are down there. At one time there must have been a pack of about 15 dogs running around. Josie is a bit on edge, probably from getting bumped into and sniffed at too many times. But it was nice to have her down there to see all her old friends and their humans…everyone has been very worried about her.

She is exhausted when we get home. Gully has to have a bath because she was running in all the swamp and mud, but Josie gets a break due to the staples…she wont be so lucky much longer and really is starting to get pretty ripe…

Saturday March 27^th 2010 Today has been pretty low-key….Josie just sleeps a lot.

She still refuses to drink water…I am puzzled….I guess when she gets thirsty, she won’t have a choice.

Took her and Gully for a nice walk in the gully. She did really well. We took one break on the blue mat and she really just lays down on it and takes a breather. She is sleeping on the couch now…under a fuzzy blanket. I love you Josie!

Sunday March 28^th 2010 Josie is doing great…going up and down the newly carpeted stairs with no problems at all. We took a short walk today, but she did drink a LOT of water…swamp water, but heck, it was water…..

Monday March 29^th 2010 WOW….I am going to try to make this a normal week. Josie slept with me almost all night last night, back to her old bed hog self again and I am lovin’ it.

Today we walked almost the entire park and she did great!!! We even climbed the cliff and took a long break at the top! It seems we are almost back to normal, just missing one leg.

Tomorrow, Madison for staple removal and talk with oncology about chemo….

Wednesday March 24^th 2010 I woke up this morning…yes, I said this morning….Josie and I fell asleep together on the couch last night and I woke up alone….she was sleeping on the floor. She started to get anxious again last night, so I put in a movie and sat on the couch with her….just like we used to do. I think that may have been the trick…her breathing slowed and she fell fast asleep.

This morning I took the girls for an off-leash walk in a field near our house. Josie was in heaven!!! I brought along a workout pad that rolls up and when we got half way, I spread it out in the grass and she laid down for a rest. She was so happy to be out that when we were turning around to head back, she stopped, looked at me, then up the hill to a wooded area where deer bed down, then back at me, then back up the hill….I figured she was trying to tell me something so I said “Okay, lets go!” And she hopped…right up that hill and sniffed all the dead weeds….. It warmed my heart to see her raise her nose in the air to take in the fresh morning scents. I see improvement… Josie is such a trooper.

Lisa, Robin and Mom stopped tonight…Josie just loves human company!!!!

She has been going up the stairs really well, down is still a challenge. I try to stay near her with her sling under her chest….She doesn’t seem to appreciate it too much, but I am so worried that she is going to fall….

Dr. Lassara called and confirmed the test results….Osteosarcoma….I pretty much knew that already so it didn’t come as a shock to me. We are on the road to recovery and it is going to take a lot to take us back down….

Josie is currently only taking Deramaxx for pain. I have Gabapentin here, but thought I would see how she did without it and so far, she is almost normal, she is just missing a leg….

I noticed that she is lying on amputation side more often…on floor, not when she is on the couch. I have some blankets spread out on the floor for her and she likes to sleep there at night, sometimes when I wake up, she is laying on her amputation side..

Thursday March 25th 2010 Josie didn’t sleep through the night, but I tried my hardest to not let her anxiousness keep me awake. She stirred a few times, moved to different areas of the room, but eventually laid down and found a comfy spot each time…she didn’t stand by me and pant…

Today we got ready for our walk….she stood like a stubborn old donkey in the driveway…She would not follow Gully and I as we left the property. I eventually asked her if she wanted to go for a ride in the truck…she immediately started wagging her tail. So…I backed the truck up to the curb just like I did when we got home. She hopped right over with her tail wagging and jumped in the back.

I instructed her to lay down, which took a while, but I don’t think she would do to well standing while I drive. We drove to the gully and walked around the new water sewer containment area. She was like a puppy…bouncy and full of life. It was heart warming to see. Then we stopped at G-mas for a short visit and a quick nap on her couch.

My friend Lori stopped by with a card, treats and a gift certificate for Josie from a local dog treat store. Lori also brought along Michelle a girl I know from the sheriff’s department. Lori is a cancer survivor and is my inspiration for Josie’s recovery. Michelle is a fellow great dane owner and just loved Josie…she showed her so much love, she fell fast asleep….it was a really nice visit.

Josie has been just amazing yesterday and today. What a transformation! I am going to start getting back to the YMCA next week. Back to our old routines. Time to take care of me….

Sunday March 21st 2010 Today my sister Lisa stopped by with her 3 sons and daughter-in-law. Josie is ever so happy to see them! She is such a people dog! Everyone is amazed with how good she is doing. She really does get along well.

Today Marsh took Gully for a walk to help relieve her energy. Much to our surprise he arrives back at home within a half hour. I hear the front door open and Miss Gull enters the kitchen….Marsh yells up the stairs “Gully needs a bandage!” I look and sure enough she has a big gash on her leg and it looks like it needs stitches. Well, that is so Gully, she always needs to be the center of attention. Josie can’t go get an amputation….Gully will need a bandage….So typical. I decide to just put some triple anti-biotic ointment on it and wrap it up with that self cling bandaging like Josie is wearing, only Gully gets pink. She bleeds through 3 of them by the end of the night, so by the time I get to the last one, it is almost a tourniquet.

This afternoon we all took a 3 hour nap, Gully on the dog bed and Josie and I on the mattress. Ahhhh…..sleep…..it sure does a body good.

We take short walks a few times a day. After one walk Josie decides to go potty on the front lawn. She loses her balance and does a face plant. UGH!!! I feel so bad for her. I am sure she doesn’t feel embarrassment, but I still feel for her.

I notice that a few times throughout the day when Josie goes to lay down she accidentally tips to her amputation side. When this happens she just lays down completely, head and all….she lays there for a while, completely still…..I wonder what she is thinking….When she does decide to get up, she is like a turtle on its shell. She cant do it and cries with pain. I try to help her but can only push on her amputation side to do so, which I am sure causes more pain, but I have to help her.

Today she seems to be really restless…she doesn’t know where to lay….outside…inside…..dog bed….mattress…..blanket….. She seems different, panting…..and different.

Tonight she is REALLY restless and she whines when moving. I think she is in pain. So I give her the two pills of Tramadol. This doesn’t seem to do anything at all. I wonder, or over-think, and decide to cut off her bandage…maybe it is pinching her. That doesn’t help either. I call UW Hospital and speak with the doc in the ER. She tells me that according to Josie’s weight, I can give her up to 4 1/2 pills. She suggests that I give her two more…which I do.

I am just an emotional wreck! I cry and cry….Josie is my baby and she is apparently suffering. Something I never intended!!! I question my decision, really question whether or not I did the right thing!

12:30am JOSIE WAKES UP WITH A SHRILL CRY!!! She jumps off the mattress. She is scared to death! She is scared of me, she is scared of the room. For 5 minutes she pants and salivates like crazy! She hops in place…small hops…and does an anxious yawn, then she does something strange, she lays on the carpeting in front of the door. Her eyes look strange, almost fixed. Her pupils are large. I pet her, talk to her softly, kiss her snout. She wont even look at me.

1:20am I call the UW Hospital again and tell the ER doc my suspicion…that Josie is having a psychotic episode from the Tramadol. She tells me that it can make some dogs anxious….WHAT?  She isn’t anxious, she is paranoid….she is totally out of it. Tramadol does not make her drowsy…it freaks her out! I ask her how long before this drug wears off and she tells me about 8 hours. It is going to be a long night….

1:30am I think maybe food will help her body get rid of the drug faster, so I make her gravy food. She eats it, pants and continues to hop in place. Her nose is running constantly and she is salivating like crazy. She lays by the door again…on the carpet. I fall asleep with the lights on hoping that the lights will help her recognize her surroundings.

3:49am I wake up to another shrill cry. Now, she is laying in the corner behind the pool table by some chairs. I call her name. She looks over to the area where I am sitting but never looks right at me, but she is responding to my voice. She tries to figure out how to get over to me. She finally meanders through the maze of furniture she was hiding behind and gets closer to me. Her tail barely wags, but it does wag….She is very restless still and doesn’t know where to lay….

How much sleep did we get? not very much…..tomorrow has to be better….because it can’t get any worse than this….

Monday March 22nd 2010 It is 7am and we are up already…Josie is panting….hard….I think she is hot….or is it that damn drug….She goes outside. The Wisconsin air is cool, I hope it helps. She comes back inside and lays on the mattress with me. She leans up against me, pushing me into the bookshelf behind me, but I don’t mind, I am just happy that she knows who I am and she isn’t afraid of me. We fall asleep for a few minutes and my phone rings. It is Dr. Danielson and he tells me to stop the Tramadol….that is a no-brainer. He tells me that she should not be having much pain anymore and should get by with just the Deramaxx.

Josie seems to be a bit better but she is still a little restless. She lays outside on her blanket again. I dont want to leave her out too long due to the fact that she was recently shaved… I dont want her to have to deal with a sunburn on top of everything else. I decide we should try to get into the house. Our raised ranch poses a problem….when you walk in the door it is either stairs to go up, or stairs to go down….a decision must be made…I decide it is better to go down….carpeting vs. hardwood floors.

Josie stands at the top of the stairs…Marsh is standing next to her holding the handles of the infamous blue sling….I am at the bottom of the stairs coaxing her to come down….She attempts…but chickens out more than a few times, but finally….she goes for it….I celebrate at the bottom…praising her over and over. Once she is down I close her and Gully behind the french doors and I head to Lowes. I pick up 10ft of rug runner and some double stick tape. I arrive home, rip open the drawer in the metal tool bench and pull out the staple gun. Next is the vacuum cleaner and off I go….clean the stairs, tape, carpet, staple….tape, carpet, staple…I follow the contour of each stair all the way to the bottom and only have to make one cut…about 3 inches from the end. I clean up my mess. The carpet looks nice running down the middle of the stairs…a little crooked, but Josie wont care.

Josie and I lay on the couch together….and nap…and with Gully on the love seat, we all sleep for 3 long hours…..

4:00pm My friend Amy and her daughter CC stop by and bring the girls a treat. As we sit and visit….Gully’s leg starts to bleed again…drip blood…all over the concrete…I guess she will need to go to the vet….so after the girls leave, I load Gully in the Jeep/ambulance and we are off. Marsh stays with Josie while I am gone…this is the second time I get away….and Gully…she gets 5 stitches…she IS SO a drama queen…

9:30pm Josie actually sleeps on the love seat out in the garage for a bit. She wakes and drinks some water. She comes back inside and lays down on the mattress, with my direction. She seems to be pretty normal tonight. She is a bit restless, and after a few minutes lays by my feet as I sit in the chair. I spread out some blankets for her and she lies down. She sleeps for a while after I get her to lay to her side. It seems she always wants to balance herself to stay laying upright….in the middle….something she never did when she had all four legs…it was either lay to one side or the other. Hmmm….I am puzzled…….I do this a lot….

2:00am Josie wakes me up various times but this time I am awake. She is doing her soft anxious whine through her nose. She is standing near the side of the mattress. I put her outside…does she have to poop, pee, drink? She drinks some water and comes in. Hop…hop….hop….she just cant sit still…..

3:20am We are still up…she is restless and panting. She doesn’t know where to lay.

3:30am She goes outside again………drinks water, comes in. I tell her to lay down on the love seat, which she does. I think “Is this it?”

3:43am She is off the love seat…hop…hop…hop

4:00am Maybe we should try to go in the house again??? We get in and she wants to go upstairs…so….we go up. She goes right into my bedroom. I haven’t slept in there for over a week and a half…Marsh is sound asleep and we come barging in. I turn on the light and Josie goes around the bed and hops right up! I think YES!!!! She is amazing….I break the news to Marsh….sorry….would he please go sleep in the pool room with Gully who is fast asleep out there? He does…and I crawl into the flannel sheets…ahhhh…..I try to get some blankets to cover up seeing as Josie is laying across them all, and I am happy just to get a corner….lights out….sleep…finally….

4:10am Josie gets up and JUMPS off the bed…she cries from the impact off our high bed….I now am at wits end…I can’t keep chasing her around this house! So, I let her go…she goes into the living room…hop, hop, hop…. back into the bedroom…hop, hop, hop….back to the living room…hop, hop, hop…back to the bedroom….hop, hop, hop…come to bed sweetie….come by Momma….back to the living room….hop, hop, hop….hop, hop, quiet…. clamber, clang, bang…hop, hop, hop…she went down the stairs!!!! I FLY out of the bed and there she is…looking up at me…innocent and almost smiling….I grab her sling and we take the next flight together…to the basement…where I can close the doors….She lays right down on the love seat….sleep??? is this it????

4:33 She gets off the love seat….will this ever end? She climbs up on the couch and curls up in my nest….the small area that my bent knees make….She lays there with her head lying on my hip area. Her breathing is jerky, every respiration is almost a grunt without the noise. I can feel her face twitching on the back of my thigh…..but we fall asleep…

5:52am She gets off the couch….I tell her to come back and lay down…she does. I am impressed….we fall asleep again….

Tuesday March 23rd 2010 7:54 I wake up to her panting hard she is wide awake but just laying in my nest looking around. Her nose is running again….I wonder all kinds of things about that….We go upstairs and I set up the deck with her blanket and put a gate across the stairs so she doesn’t get any smart ideas. She seems relaxed…at ease…

10:15 I decide to hop in the shower and leave the outside door open so both dogs and both cats can get in and out and enjoy the beautiful day. I block all stairways so Josie doesn’t go on a momma-hunt while I am in the shower. I get out of the shower and find her laying in the hallway waiting for me. She gets up and whines with pain. I give her the Deramaxx pill and call my local vet for advice. I have many questions about this whole thing, meds, etc..but one of the biggest ones is if she does home euthanasia if the need arises….She is so kind and encouraging and tells me that she will help me through this all but if I ever decide for the home visit, she needs advance notice….I cry so hard numerous times while on the phone with her. Sometimes I cant even talk….

I post an entry on the discussion forum….there are such wonderful people out there…I am fortunate I have this site…no one else knows unless you have been through it. I am thankful for my stranger friends!!!!

I prepare Josie gravy food, again….if we keep this up, she is going to get fat!

It is 11:30am and she is sleeping on the floor…out cold! For about an hour now…I get her up and take her for a walk….

I get another script for Gabapentin and more Deramaxx. My third time away from the house. I decide to go all out and stop at the grocery store for some bananas and oranges…man, I live life on the wild side….

It is 9:30 right now and we have been in the house all day. Josie seems almost 100% normal, minus a leg. She is happy, wagging her tail, eating good, and today….yes, she slept all day…….I am sure she needs to catch up…..now, if she keeps me up tonight??? I will take a Gabapentin myself….don’t worry, I am just kidding!!!!

Saturday March 20th 2010 Today we slept late….probably because we were up in the middle of the night. Took Josie for a short walk down the block and back. She rested when we got home….I think the walk makes her tired. It is probably a lot of work for her to hop on that concrete.

I had her go outside today and lay in the sun. She used to love to do that on nice days….It used to be hard to get her to come in sometimes. But today it takes some persuasion. I put her blanket out and instructed her to lay down. She joined Gully and they watched the world go by just like they used to….

My friend Lisa stopped by today….boy, that Lisa name pops up a lot here….Lisa is the mom of Josie’s boyfriend Curby. He is a beautiful St. Bernard. Today Lisa came alone, but Josie was very happy to see her none-the-less. She actually did her first lap sit since the surgery. She had another first when she ate on her own for the first time without me making gravy food. Things are looking up!

5:49 pm Josie got up ON HER OWN!!!! wanting to go outside….She also lays on the mattress for the first time with Gully.

Today, makes me happy….I did make the right decision. Today, I keep up on pain management pills to prevent her from suffering. Tramadol, one pill as scheduled, can give two if necessary.

8:00pm Marsh babysits so that I can go to my Mom’s 80th birthday party. I have siblings home from IL and CA. We play apples to apples and have cake…supper was done already by the time I showed up, but cake was good enough for me.

9:15pm Marsh calls…Josie is searching for me….time to go home….

3:00am Josie wakes me up whining….I give her a pill. I pet and massage her until approx. 5am and then we both fall asleep….